Rain

It has been raining here a lot but I am so glad for the physical rain and the rain of so many events. Today Natalie went to Day Care for 2 1/2 hours in the morning. When I arrived to pick her up, she looked at me like what are you doing here? She was so excited to go when we went this morning and she talked about it after we got home. Yesterday she went to her first birthday party for my friend Lisa's 4 year old son. Lisa has only boys and Natalie looked just like one of the boys jumping on the trampoline, sliding down the slide, shooting the laser guns and just running after them. She did not want to leave and it was so neat to see her talking up a storm and even more sweet to see how the older boys just reached out to her. Tomorrow she will get her first haircut in the morning and then off to Day Care for a couple of hours in the afternoon.
Meanwhile, I have been in a cleaning frenzy from deep cleaning the living room and kitchen, to completely rearranging my bedroom furniture and cleaning out all drawer, files and my desk. Since I began the adoption process, the "office" was moved into my bedroom so Natalie would have her own room. I am determined to get the place in as much order as possible before going back to work on Thursday.
We had a touch and go moment last Friday with my cat Selah. As you know from my side bar, she is over 18 years old. But she is my baby and has gone through so much with me. She has had some difficulty with her teeth for awhile now but she has been on a routine schedule of an antibiotic. But last Thursday I noticed she had not been eating and appeared in a great deal of pain on the right side of her mouth. I took her to the vet and she had a significantly infected back tooth. She had also lost 2 pounds since last year. That is quite a bit for her. She vet suggested putting her under for just a short time to pull the tooth. I was very nervous, since she is so old and it was possible she would not wake up. My good friend just lost her cat this past week and that made it all the harder. Yet I knew the alternative was that she would slowly starve if we didn't take the chance.
I am happy to report that she was under and back up in about 30 minutes. She is recovering fine and has begun eating again and is no longer sensitive on the right side of her mouth. It truly was an answer to prayer. Upon discussing this with my friend, she brought up some good points. If I had gone back to work, I may have never noticed that she was not eating since the other 2 cats eat quite a bit, second I would not have had the flexibility that I did to run her to the vet that morning and again the next morning for a pain shot. Also the vet was able to take her in for surgery immediately since it was morning and they only do surgery in the morning. I was able to pick her up about 90 minutes after I dropped her off. If I had been working, I would have had to take her in late afternoon, then early the next morning to drop her off for the surgery and then not pick her up again until late in the day. I would have been an emotional wreck. So God was merciful to me by allowing everything to happen and unfold while I was off. I am truly grateful to Him and to the vet who was just wonderful!!
Today I heard Natalie say "Be Careful" just as something was about to slip away from her hand. It is so neat to hear more and more sentences. She is loving cooking soup and pasta for me and tells me to be careful because it is "scott." I informed her today that the correct pronunciation ifshot" and since her mother is a speech pathologist she has to learn how to say the words correctly. Of course, she had no clue what I was talking about, but she did say "hot" 3 times correctly for me!! We just had the best day today. A friend gave me a gift of money for her so today while she was at Day Care, I went shopping and one of the things I bought for her was a purse. Her eyes just lit up when she saw it and she has had so much fun today with it. She slings it over her shoulder and tell me bye-bye and then she opens it up and whips out her cell phone (an old one that I never use any more) and then proceeds to talk on it just like a teenager. She would also walk up to me and tell me something about 4 words long and then cover up her mouth and just giggle. I have no idea what she was saying but she was just cracking herself up!!
Yesterday I picked up pictures that I had developed from a disposable camera. I had left the camera with the caregivers in October. They did such a great job of capturing her in various settings and with different people. Last night I was showing her the pictures and she could tell me some of the children's names but not all of them. She would look to me and ask what their names were. Of course I don't know and I regret waiting so long to get the pictures developed. Through she still refers to herself many times by her Russian nickname (mostly when she sees pictures of herself) she if more often calling herself by Natalie and using her legal last name as well. We have really worked on that the last 2 weeks.
I could go on, but it is late and I really wanted to get a post done. Will keep you posted as I transition back to work and Natalie to full time Day Care.

One Month Today

Today marks one month since I picked up Natalie at the orphanage. Most people refer to that day as Gotcha Day. As I reflect over this last month, I am just amazed at all that this little girl has gone through and how much she has changed. She has truly blossomed. Today we went to my job. I believe I have shared in the past that I work in a nursing home. When she arrived she went with the Activities Director to the coffee house that she was having for the residents. I went to visit some co-workers. About 30 minutes later, (I was getting reports via the activity director and others) I went to check on her and she was sitting at the table sharing all the "goodies" that she has in her bag with the people at the table. She wasn't eating and she wasn't really talking, but the fact that she was interacting and not upset was 180 degrees change from our first visit. Everyone told me how beautiful she was and how sweet. Of course I was the proud mama! She is a sweet child and I love seeing her personality shine through more and more every day. Now with that personality also comes the "comfortableness" of pushing the boundaries just a tad bit. But she is a quick learner and often will tell me what she knows that she is not allowed to do.
She is always looking out for Babushka and the cats. I hear more and more complete English sentences from her and more spontaneous English words too. Yesterday we were leaving the house to go run some errands. She usually has a snack about 10:00 AM and I told her when we were in the house, that we would take a banana in the car and she could have her snack there. So I gather everything I needed and got her in the car seat and as I was putting my seat belt on, she reminded me that I didn't get the banana. So back into the house I went to get it. Who needs a personal assistant or a Blackberry when you have a Natalie. Later in the afternoon we sorted her laundry and put the first load in the washer. While we were waiting on that load to finish, she proceeded to fold all of her dirty laundry. Hmmmm. Do I see a Type A personality emerging?
I love going into her room after her nap or first thing in the morning, while she is still sleeping. I will open the blinds and immediately I hear her stirring and she wakes up with a smile and usually a, "Coo Coo" or two. That is the equivalent to Peek a boo. She always wakes up happy no matter what has transpired that day or the evening before. She makes me think of the verses in the Bible that talk about God's mercies being new every morning. He doesn't dwell on our past but each day is a new day. May I wake up every day happy and ready to see what "new" things God has in store for me.

Office Detail

I can't believe it has been almost a week since I posted, but considering that I have been sick with a terrible sinus infection for a week and half, it really is not surprising. I finally went to the doctor on Friday and started antibiotics. I've lost my voice for 4 days and it is slowly coming back. I just keep thinking, I am glad I am not at work. Natalie continues to do well and she is much more outgoing in new situations. But she still stays close to mama for which I am glad. I realized today that there has been only one day since I returned on April 2, that I have not gone somewhere. I am hoping that I will have at least 2 days this week to stay home. I feel like I am still trying to get my office space organized and I am down to just about a week before returning to work. No wonder women who give birth feel like they need 3 months off!!!
Yesterday we both went to a baby shower for my friend Christy who is also adopting from Russia. Please keep her and her husband in prayer as they are anxiously awaiting a court date. It really is so hard to meet your future child and have to leave that child behind.
We also went to church yesterday and I think in such a large church it was a bit overwhelming for her. But she did great and I heard many compliments on what a sweet child she is and how well she behaved in church!! I don't know how much credit I can take for that.
I am hearing the pitter patter of little feet which lets me know that she is up from her nap, so I will try to write more often!

Beeeutiful or............

Whoville, I'm not sure which. It is amazing to think that not even a month ago, Natalie would not let me hold her hand and now I have my own personal hairdresser. She had the best time "doing " my hair and told me in both Russian and English that my hairstyle was beeeutiful!!

Today my little trooper had to have 2 more shots and after crying and getting one in each arm, her next question was whether or not she had to have any in her legs. When I assured her that she did not, she was a happy little girl again. Tomorrow night will mark 2 weeks since we arrived home. And in those 2 weeks, between Natalie, my mom and myself we have been at the doctor's, lab, dentist or hospital for 10 different visits. I am happy to say that nothing is scheduled for at least a month. She continues to adjust well and today there were no tears again when it came time for her nap and bedtime. Yesterday I also took a nap and went to bed early. We both "slept in" until 7:45 and I feel almost back to normal.

I am hearing more English and some jabbering with little English words thrown in. At times, it is pure Russian. I have so many mixed feelings about this. I want her to be able to function and communicate here in America, but I love hearing her talk in Russian. So those of you that have any recommendations on video cameras please let me know as I want to capture this aspect of her life on tape!!

Today I had to leave her for 2 hours while I went to the dentist. She stayed with my mom and did great. This has also helped her bond with Babushka!!

Natalie loves yogurt and would eat it 6 times a day if I let her. A new friend gave her a crown to wear. Tonight she put on her crown before she ate her yogurt. She is definitely the yogurt queen!!

Pictures of Natalie

Dressed up for her first day at church.


Waking up from her nap with her new best friend "Dola"
Thanks Aunt Nicki for the markers, my hands make a better sketchpad than the paper!!

Happy Birthday Presents

Thank you first of all to those of you who sent cards and also those who wished me a Happy Birthday. Several people have asked what I did special today. Overall it was just a "normal" day in my daily adjustment to being a parent!! We started the day by heading off to the hospital to have an echo cardiogram done. Since I have never had a child or reason to visit a children's hospital before, I was just amazed and in some ways saddened by all the children that I saw there. On the other hand, I was very impressed by the staff there. They were so friendly and kind, from the check in department to the clinical staff. The first thing she asked me was if she was going to get more shots. Poor thing. But I assured her that she didn't have to have any and that they were just going to look at her heart. She did great during the whole procedure and when we left she got a "Dola" sticker. She loves yogurt and I have been buying the ones for kids made by Yoplait. Dora the Explorer is on every cup and she always asks me who that is. Unfortunately, we lost the sticker somewhere in the parking lot. So after we got home, I went up in the attic where I have packed the many books, puzzles and other treasures that my sister Susan has passed onto me. There was a stuffed Dora in a box. I brought it down and she thought it was the best thing. Later that afternoon while she was taking her nap, I put Dora at the foot of the bed. When I went into her room later to wake her up, there was Dora on the pillow besides her (see picture.) It was such a contrast in size and just a reminder of what a little girl she still is.
We had soup for lunch and she really enjoyed it. We had not had it for awhile since she kept refusing it. I also gave her crackers to put in the soup instead of bread. So she ate the first bowl without a problem and then asked for more. While she was eating I decided to empty the dishwasher. When I went to see if she was finished, I found the bowl of soup looking very cloudy and strange. It was at that point that I realized that she had added her chocolate milk to the broth. As we were preparing for her nap, I had her use the toilet and set her up to wash her hands. This child loves water and for some reason keeps filling up the sink (one day she had flooded the bathroom when I was trying to get some laundry done.) I returned back into her bathroom only to find that she had not only filled up the sink, but she had put my old cell phone in the sink for a bath. In the evening, as she was brushing her teeth, she would fill up the cup to rinse her mouth and take one little sip and then pour out the rest from the height of 12-15 inches which resulted in my clothes getting wet and water on the walls. After she finished using the toilet before going to bed, I again left her to wash her hands and walked into my bedroom for only a minute. When I returned she had managed to wet down half of her hair. Now you have to realize that she had had a bath only an hour or so earlier and her hair was now dry.
I guess she really wanted to make this birthday quite memorable. :) I am realizing that things we take for granted that we just know to do or not to do, is not the case in her situation. So I find that a big part of my job as the parent, is teaching her how to pour the water from the cup close to the drain so it doesn't flood everywhere and to firmly let her know that she cannot put electrical devices in the water and why. Once I do this, I find that she really does understand and is able to do the right thing afterwards. So even though she made this birthday memorable, she also made it the best birthday by far by the fact that she is finally here and for just who she is. Everyday she just wiggles her way deeper and deeper into my heart. So without even realizing her, Natalie gave me the best present ever, herself!!

Settling In

The days are quickly going by and before I know it, I will be back at work. I am not looking forward to that day. I like my job and what I do, but it is going to be so hard to not spend the day at home with Natalie. the good news is that on Friday I found a Day Care that I really liked and she seemed to enjoy too. The nice part was that the class is small and that they have had one child who was recently adopted from Eastern Europe and another child who attended who did not speak English initially. To me that is one of the key issues, having a place that understands that it takes time for her to speak the language and teachers who will be sensitive to that. Her desire to speak English is growing and every day I hear her using a new word and repeating two to 3 word sentences.
Nap time and bed time have also gotten better. Not that she was ever bad about going, but there were always tears and sadness. The last 2 days there have not been any tears. I am wondering if part of that is getting over jet lag (which I still have yet to do) and part that I have upped the time for her nap and bedtime.
The last 2 days we have been working out in the yard transplanting the flowers that my mom brought from her old home. She has been digging in the dirt and helping "haul" the dirt from place to place.
Now I am sure this is not a new discovery for Natalie, but we have had several days where she has just screamed! Not just cried, but screamed. One time when she was overly tired and the other time was yesterday when we had to have blood drawn. The funny thing (to me any way) was that she was screaming at the top of her lungs and they had not done anything. Somehow she just knew what was going to take place. There ended up being 5 of us in the room to hold her, comfort her and switch out the tubes. I have to say, I was so impressed by the staff there. They were so sweet to her. She was done screaming by the time they actually put the tiny little needle in. But I may need to get my hearing checked at I was talking in her ear the whole time, trying to get her to calm down!!
For myself, I feel like life is slowly returning to some sense of normalcy. Almost everything is put away, cleaned and if I had about 4 hours nonstop, the mail and email would all be up to date!!
Tomorrow will be our first time to church and I am looking forward to it. Before leaving for Russia, I was not at church for several weeks due to my nephew's wedding and work. So I feel like I have been gone forever.
Today I received a birthday card from a friend and she wrote the sweetest note inside. It brought me to tears as I was reminded of God's faithfulness through out this journey to bring Natalie home. I think because it has been less than 2 weeks that we have been here and it was almost 3 years to get her here, the difficulty of it is still fresh, but the fulfillment of desire to be a "mama" continues to just touch my heart daily. It was also around my birthday that I began to seriously pursue the adoption process. I will always be grateful to my friend Todd who encouraged to pursue this path and helped me to take the first step by attending an adoption conference.

More Firsts

Last night, Natalie was not feeling well and not able to fully express that to me. I think those are the times when I feel the most frustrated and inadequate. But she woke up this morning, fully recovered and going 100 miles an hour. We also went and checked out a Day Care today. She was quiet during that time, but I know that she was happy to see the children. That was further evidenced when later we were outside and she saw several children in the neighborhood and was yelling out Hi in Russian. I am hearing more and more English words every day and she is constantly asking me what something is and then repeating it. Today she has started where she will run towards me and then just hugs on my leg. Today she also told me "I love you" and gave me my first kiss. I see more and more of the silly side of her coming out to. She also rode around the garage with her helmet on on a bike with training wheels. This child wants to try everything. She has eaten lasagna, salad, corn, cold cereal, lunch meat, and a bunch of other things that just surprise me. I have to confess that I love potato chips. One of my favorites is the kettle cooked Sea Salt and Vinegar. Today she asked me for some. Of course I figured she would not like them, but not only did she eat the few I gave her, but she wanted more. Go figure!!
Tonight I was making Hamburger Helper. She was playing with her kitchen set and had a bag of play food. She asked me what I was making and the next thing I knew she had pulled out a play box of food that said Hamburger Helper.
She had gotten completely over her fear of the cats. When we were in the garage, the door into the kitchen was open and Maxx the cat was sitting in the doorway watching us. She started yelling out, Maxx eedee, which means come here. Of course Maxx just looked at her. We were in Target yesterday and she asked where Bubushka was. My mom had gone to another part of the store. I told her that she was in a different section of the store, so she started yelling out Bubushka and calling for her. A big step when you consider that less that a week ago she was afraid of her.

I was thinking today, that is some ways, watching how Natalie is attaching and how more and more of her personality is emerging must be in some ways, how it is with our relationship with the Lord. He must get so excited when we talk to him more and tell him that we love him and make that time for him. I know how I feel when Natalie responds to me and how I feel as I see her blossom. How proud our Father must be of us.

This Precious Child

It is now after 8:30 and the supper dishes are still on the table, the cat threw up on the carpet, the bills are still waiting to be paid and the pile of mail has started to decrease but is still a huge pile. But here I sit at the computer taking the time to catch up with several families that I feel like I have been on the journey with. At this point so many of them have been home for a little while, have finished their court dates or just waiting on the court date. It continues to bless my heart to see how all these little children are doing.

Last night I finally finished unpacking the suitcases. I still have lots to put away, especially papers and papers and papers!! But as I put the suitcases up in the attic, I was hit with the realization that this was the first time in over 2 years that I did not have a suitcase packed to go to Russia. My dossier was submitted in January 2006 and at that time referrals were coming in within a month, so I stated gathering things and putting them in the suitcase. As you know from reading the blog or living the journey with me, that things didn't quite turn out the way I thought they were going to, hence the never unpacked suitcase. What a great feeling it is to not be living in the land of limbo.

I posted yesterday at nap time and the rest of the day ended up being a blast. After she woke up, I remembered some children's Cd's that my friend Karen gave me. I put one of the "silly songs' on and she danced and danced. Thankfully I caught it on video before the battery died. What a hoot!! Later that night, my mom came over for dinner. We were batting around 3 helium balloons. On a whim I grabbed the balloons and began running around the house with them and Natalie chasing me. I don't think either of us (or my mom for that matter) had laughed so hard for so long!!

Today we ran a few errands and then headed to my job. So many people were happy to see her and I was able to get all the details worked out to get her on my benefits. My coworkers and I went out to lunch and little Natalie was battling sleep waiting on lunch to arrive, which finally got there at 12:45 so close to her normal nap time. But she ate like a trooper. I thought surely this little girl will sleep the 35 minute ride home. She finally feel asleep the last 20 minutes and as soon as we pulled into the driveway, woke up. Being the "good" mama that I am I put her in the bed to go to sleep at 2:00. By 2:45 she was still sitting up refusing to give into the much needed sleep. Part of me was feeling frustrated by the fact that she wouldn't go to sleep when I knew she really needed it and part of me wanted to continue to get all these tasks done in the house. As I went back into her room for the 4th time, I was so reminded of the comments my coworker Lisa had shared at lunch. She shared about the sermon on Sunday and the importance of family. I won't go into all the details she shared, but I was convicted of my focus on the "things I needed to get done." I was also reminded that this little child of mine has lived in 4 places in just 2 1/2 weeks. Because she is so mature, helpful and independent, I often forget just how fragile and young she is. As all of these things came pouring into my mind and heart gently by the Lord, I was just so humbled by this precious gift I have. So I got her out of the bed and sat in the rocking chair with the blinds closed and just held her and rocked and rocked for an hour. Neither of us said anything the entire time and at times I think she would drift off, but wake herself back up. There was just something so special about the quiet, the darkness and when she finally realized I wasn't asleep (I had my eyes closed during the rocking) we just whispered to each other. She kept wrapping her arms around my neck and giving me hugs. Something special happened during that time and as one friend shared how a lady in her prayer group has been praying that our hearts would be knitted together, I do believe that some serious knitting was done. Surely the Lord does use the little children to teach us some many things. I am so grateful that I have this additional month off from work. I am glad that I don't have to rush off in the morning and leave her behind. I am also grateful for the lessons that I am learning through this precious child.

My LIttle Helper

I am finding that I am falling in love with this little girl more and more every day. She continues to do things that just touch my heart. I feel so honored to be her mama. Lately when she wants to get my attention, she calls "ma." It is the sweetest thing. Last night she got to bed early, slept until 7:00 (unlike the previous morning-4:30 AM, since her cousin was visiting) and has had a great morning. She ate a good breakfast and lunch and helped me with the linens from all the company we have had. My Sunday School class had blessed me with money to purchase a play kitchen. Other people gave me gifts of dishes and play food. She loves the kitchen and today not only was she making soup, but she also washed all her dishes. May this desire to clean and help continue into her teen years!! :)

We also had fun as she and "babushka" tried on a bunch of size 2T clothes to see what fits. My sister Susan has given me so many things from her daughter and others have also given me so many clothes. She enjoyed it and she was not hesitant to give her opinion on some of the outfits.

She continues to be gentle with the cats and Maxx is definitely her favorite as she not only calls out his name, but will go looking for him. Thank goodness he is a gentle and loving cat.

Tomorrow we will visit my job as so many people have been following my journey and are anxious to meet her!

Natalie

Catching Up

Do you ever feel like you will never get caught up? That is how I have felt since returning home. It is hard to be away a month. The amount of mail you receive is amazing, the dust collecting in the house and then all the unpacking, laundry and talking with everyone who wants to know how everything went takes a lot of time. But I feel like I am starting to make a dent. I have had family visiting and friends calling and have already taken Natalie to the doctor. Overall she is doing great, but we are having a tough time keeping a steady schedule. I am finding that it is best to try to plan activities in the morning and to get her back before noon. Otherwise, she gets too tired and doesn't want lunch. Along with her needs, the house and such, I have found my 3 cats very needy too!! They really missed me and with a little girl in the house, they seem to need a lot of attention too.
So my hat is off to all of you mothers and wives who work, home school and take care of more than one child!!! I have to say that Natalie is just wonderful and so helpful. She is such a delight and every day there is some major accomplishment. Today it was that she is no longer afraid of the cats and she is very gentle with them. She is my little helper and slowly she is starting to say more English words. She knows Maxx the cat by name and calls him. I am posting some pictures for all of you!!

Home Sweet Home

Just a quick note, to let you all know that we arrived safely tonight. It is so good to be home. Overall Natalie did well on the trip, but had very little sleep. So when we arrived at the airport, she was a bit overwhelmed by all the people. For me personally, I was so blessed to be greeted by so many people. I guess everyone is always happy to come home, but after being in the country for 28 days by myself, perhaps it made it all the greater joy to see so many familiar and loving faces.

So tonight, I should be in bed, but instead I took a long shower, brushed my teeth with my electric toothbrush with running water that I could drink from the tap, hugged my kitty cats and thanked God from the bottom of my heart for being with me through this long and at times difficult journey. As I logged on tonight, I saw my second ticker that said "Natalie is home!" and indeed she is. Pray for a good transition as there were a lot of tears and some fears with all the new faces and seeing a cat around the corner.

Over the next week or so, I will post more pictures and go into more details about some of our times. It is a lot easier knowing that it isn't costing me every minute to write a post.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. It is so good to be home and to have Natalie here!!