Natalie loves to compare things that we do or wear or eat. If there is the slightest chance that they may look alike, she joyfully claims, "We match!" Friday we went to the mall to do some clothes shopping. It has been interesting to see how friendly she has become since her language skills have really increased. She will say hello to people in WalMart, in church, in the mall, etc.
So Friday night I am checking out at JC Penney's. She proceeds to tell the cashier that she has money at home in her piggy bank. BUT, her mommy has lots of money. Now I do wish she was right, but there is no way she can comprehend the value of money right now. She loves to cut out things. I give her the Sunday sales papers and she just so enjoys cutting out the different pictures. She will often tell me that she is making money for me. Ahh, if it was only that easy to have money:)
But I digress from my original purpose in writing this post. As she is charming the cashier with her tales of money, the sweet lady tells me how beautiful she is and how sweet she is. Then the cashier goes on to tell me how much she looks like me. My heart just melted and I could feel the tears start to build up. But I held it together and smiled and told her thank you. She had no idea how she had just made my day. I looked at Natalie and said, "We match!!"
Monday, November 17, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Unanswered Questions
Every night I lay out the clothes that Natalie will be wearing the next day. The idea is that she can get up and get her self dressed while I am getting a shower and getting ready. For the most part it does help save time in the morning. Tonight I laid out a sweater that I had taken with me to Russia for her. It is the one she wore when I picked her up from the baby home, the one her passport picture was taken in, the one she wore in pictures for other documents and the one she wore often during our month in Russia. She immediately expressed pleasure at the sweater and I asked her if it brought back memories. She nodded yes and I asked her what they were. She said that it was what she wore when I came from far, far away to get her. I nodded and she immediately flew into my arms and said how much she loved me. What a special and precious moment, especially in light of the battle of the wills we have had the last several nights. She has also been sick with the flu, a sinus and ear infection and an upset stomach due to the antibiotic. God has so knitted this child into my heart and truly my love for her continues to grow daily.
I started out with this post with this story because not that long ago, I can remember agonizing that the day would never come when I would get a referral and then five long months of waiting to go back to Russia to bring her home. Even though she has been home for over seven months now, the pain, the disappointment, the frustration and the heartache of those 3 years is still fresh in my mind. So often during the wait, I would cry out to the Lord expressing my emotions, my pain and my desire to understand the unanswered questions.
Yet today I can see the results of those unanswered questions and I can say honestly that it feels so good to be on the other side where the answers are and the pain has dulled. I share this because in the last 3 weeks so many people close to me are experiencing the unanswered questions. A is experiencing major medical problems and the doctors cannot figure out what is wrong; B has seen a marriage fall apart; C has lost a job; D is dealing with a wounded child; E is desiring marriage, F is preparing for major surgery; G is battling cancer; H has been looking and looking for a job; and I could go on.
Why is there so much pain, heartache and disappointment in life? Why do people have to suffer so much? Because we live in a fallen world. Yet there is hope. God does love us and he does hear the cry of our heart and he does answer the unanswered questions. Most times the answer doesn't come immediately and sometimes it is 3 years down the road before we see the answer and sometimes it is a lot longer. Yet God is here now and loves us now and is walking with us now through these very hard times. He does give us grace and faith to move on even without the answers. For all of my friends and family who are dealing with the unanswered questions, please know that I am praying for you and I look forward to the day when I am rejoicing with you on the other side and you have the answers to the questions.
I started out with this post with this story because not that long ago, I can remember agonizing that the day would never come when I would get a referral and then five long months of waiting to go back to Russia to bring her home. Even though she has been home for over seven months now, the pain, the disappointment, the frustration and the heartache of those 3 years is still fresh in my mind. So often during the wait, I would cry out to the Lord expressing my emotions, my pain and my desire to understand the unanswered questions.
Yet today I can see the results of those unanswered questions and I can say honestly that it feels so good to be on the other side where the answers are and the pain has dulled. I share this because in the last 3 weeks so many people close to me are experiencing the unanswered questions. A is experiencing major medical problems and the doctors cannot figure out what is wrong; B has seen a marriage fall apart; C has lost a job; D is dealing with a wounded child; E is desiring marriage, F is preparing for major surgery; G is battling cancer; H has been looking and looking for a job; and I could go on.
Why is there so much pain, heartache and disappointment in life? Why do people have to suffer so much? Because we live in a fallen world. Yet there is hope. God does love us and he does hear the cry of our heart and he does answer the unanswered questions. Most times the answer doesn't come immediately and sometimes it is 3 years down the road before we see the answer and sometimes it is a lot longer. Yet God is here now and loves us now and is walking with us now through these very hard times. He does give us grace and faith to move on even without the answers. For all of my friends and family who are dealing with the unanswered questions, please know that I am praying for you and I look forward to the day when I am rejoicing with you on the other side and you have the answers to the questions.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Halloween
It is hard to believe that I have been back to work for 2 weeks now. I am feeling good and readjusting to being a working mom again. It seems like our lives have been pretty full in that time. This was Natalie's first Halloween and we celebrated the holiday twice that day. Once at Day Care and again at night at the church for Trunk or Treat! She loved getting all the candy. I am not sure how much she understood about the concept of dressing up. We had also carved our first pumpkin. Check out the pictures!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Back to work
Today I started back to work and I was amazed that I made it about 7 hours. I thought I won't even make it to 6 hours. Every one was so sweet to welcome me back. By lunch time it felt like I had never had any time off:) But I am grateful for my job and enjoy the people I work with as well as my job. I was tired at the end of the 7 hours, but glad I had made it through the day.
Natalie has also settled back into school, but I have no doubt that those 2 weeks home with me made a huge difference in our relationship.
The weather is much cooler and I have had to scrap my car windows the last 2 mornings. I know those of you who live in the north are probably laughing at me. But tonight I put the car in the garage. I had just a few requirements when I was buying my house. The main one was that it would have a garage. After years of living in the north and having to scrap my windows and dig out the car from the snow plow, I felt like I had truly had experienced enough of the winter to pamper myself with a garage. Plus it is so cold in the car for Natalie when I don't park in the garage.
It is funny as Halloween and Christmas approach, people will ask her if she is going trick or treating or about "Santa Claus." For her the traditions and expectations are not there because she has not experienced them. So for me, it presents challenges as I know what we begin as traditions will set the stage for her expectations in the years to come. So I am seeking the Lord for wisdom in how to explain the holidays and for what parts of the holidays will become parts that we will embrace, parts that will be explained and parts that I really don't want to be included in our celebrations.
Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays and I am happy that we will be celebrating it at our house this year. It has been a hard and challenging year, but as Thanksgiving approaches, I have so much to be thankful and grateful for. I will save all of those closer to the holiday.
So tomorrow is already Friday and my work week is over! I did plan it that way on purpose!!
Natalie has also settled back into school, but I have no doubt that those 2 weeks home with me made a huge difference in our relationship.
The weather is much cooler and I have had to scrap my car windows the last 2 mornings. I know those of you who live in the north are probably laughing at me. But tonight I put the car in the garage. I had just a few requirements when I was buying my house. The main one was that it would have a garage. After years of living in the north and having to scrap my windows and dig out the car from the snow plow, I felt like I had truly had experienced enough of the winter to pamper myself with a garage. Plus it is so cold in the car for Natalie when I don't park in the garage.
It is funny as Halloween and Christmas approach, people will ask her if she is going trick or treating or about "Santa Claus." For her the traditions and expectations are not there because she has not experienced them. So for me, it presents challenges as I know what we begin as traditions will set the stage for her expectations in the years to come. So I am seeking the Lord for wisdom in how to explain the holidays and for what parts of the holidays will become parts that we will embrace, parts that will be explained and parts that I really don't want to be included in our celebrations.
Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays and I am happy that we will be celebrating it at our house this year. It has been a hard and challenging year, but as Thanksgiving approaches, I have so much to be thankful and grateful for. I will save all of those closer to the holiday.
So tomorrow is already Friday and my work week is over! I did plan it that way on purpose!!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Tags
Natalie and I went to a Science Center on Friday. We had a delightful time seeing all the animals and interesting "facts." We stopped at the gift shop and bought some little stuffed cats. As soon as she got home, she ripped the tag off the animal and wanted to rip the tags of some other items we picked up. I have noticed that she does not like tags of any kind to stay on clothes, toys, books, etc. I, on the other hand will leave the tag on until I wear the item or get ready to use it.
I was thinking about how Jesus tells us to be like the children. As adults it is so easy to put a "tag" on someone and leave it there until we have completely checked out the person and even some times after we do, we still leave that tag on that person. I was reflecting on how Natalie is just so quick to accept everyone right where they are. In that way, she is truly reflecting how Jesus instructs us to love one another. May the Lord help me to be more like Natalie and remove the tags immediately!
On an entirely different topic, I wanted to share some changes in Natalie since she has spent the last several weeks home with me. She has an old computer that my sister had given to me and she is now actually sitting and using the computer for up to 20-30 minutes at a time. Before she would say she wanted to use it, but within 5 minutes would be bored and walk away from it. She has actually started watching some old Winnie Pooh and Barney videos. She will sit for about 20 minutes and enjoy watching it. Previously I could not get her to attend for more than a couple of minutes. Another area is her coordination. I see that when she is riding her bike, playing with a ball and going up and down the stairs. And of course her language skills continue to improve. Her current favorite expression is: "That is really cool mama!" Overall she has shown a huge growth in her maturity and response to requests. She has always been a helpful child, but every day I am amazed by how much she wants to help and what she wants to to. One night she was very upset because we ran out of time for her to help me change the sheets on my bed. Another day she was determined that she was going to clean her bathroom. I know there are many parents who tell me that this desire to help may not last, but I really think that is just a part of her personality. I may have shared this before, so forgive me if I have.
When I was praying about the child that the Lord had for me, I had 3 requests:
1. That there would be no attachment disorders. She has bonded well and is a very affectionate and sweet child.
2. That she would love animals (I was concerned how she would react to the cats). She loves the cats. Dogs she is still not so sure about:) and other animals she enjoys looking at.
3. That she would have a gentle spirit about her. There is no doubt that God blessed this child with a double dose of this. The other day on our way back from the Science Center, I got turned around and ended up going way out of my way. We left at noon and I know she was very hungry. But when I told I went the wrong way and it would be awhile before she ate, her response was, "That's okay mom." She is tender hearted and wants so much to please me and make sure everyone is happy and again to help any way she can.
God heard the cry of my heart and more than answered this prayer request. The Lord just continues to use Natalie to teach me, humble me and most of all, bless me!!
I was thinking about how Jesus tells us to be like the children. As adults it is so easy to put a "tag" on someone and leave it there until we have completely checked out the person and even some times after we do, we still leave that tag on that person. I was reflecting on how Natalie is just so quick to accept everyone right where they are. In that way, she is truly reflecting how Jesus instructs us to love one another. May the Lord help me to be more like Natalie and remove the tags immediately!
On an entirely different topic, I wanted to share some changes in Natalie since she has spent the last several weeks home with me. She has an old computer that my sister had given to me and she is now actually sitting and using the computer for up to 20-30 minutes at a time. Before she would say she wanted to use it, but within 5 minutes would be bored and walk away from it. She has actually started watching some old Winnie Pooh and Barney videos. She will sit for about 20 minutes and enjoy watching it. Previously I could not get her to attend for more than a couple of minutes. Another area is her coordination. I see that when she is riding her bike, playing with a ball and going up and down the stairs. And of course her language skills continue to improve. Her current favorite expression is: "That is really cool mama!" Overall she has shown a huge growth in her maturity and response to requests. She has always been a helpful child, but every day I am amazed by how much she wants to help and what she wants to to. One night she was very upset because we ran out of time for her to help me change the sheets on my bed. Another day she was determined that she was going to clean her bathroom. I know there are many parents who tell me that this desire to help may not last, but I really think that is just a part of her personality. I may have shared this before, so forgive me if I have.
When I was praying about the child that the Lord had for me, I had 3 requests:
1. That there would be no attachment disorders. She has bonded well and is a very affectionate and sweet child.
2. That she would love animals (I was concerned how she would react to the cats). She loves the cats. Dogs she is still not so sure about:) and other animals she enjoys looking at.
3. That she would have a gentle spirit about her. There is no doubt that God blessed this child with a double dose of this. The other day on our way back from the Science Center, I got turned around and ended up going way out of my way. We left at noon and I know she was very hungry. But when I told I went the wrong way and it would be awhile before she ate, her response was, "That's okay mom." She is tender hearted and wants so much to please me and make sure everyone is happy and again to help any way she can.
God heard the cry of my heart and more than answered this prayer request. The Lord just continues to use Natalie to teach me, humble me and most of all, bless me!!
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