I am reminded again today that God's ways are not my ways. I like to think that I am a pretty logical person and a pretty good planner and organizer. So many times when I think I have my life figured out and the direction that I am heading the Lord seems to throw a curve ball to me to completely throw me off. To say my life has been stressful in the last year would be an understatement. To say my life is boring and predictable would be even a greater understatement. For those of you who have followed my blog this past year, you can understand what I am talking about.
Which now brings me to September of this year. With all the things going on, I have had to work a lot on the weekends and longer days since I have used all of my vacation time. At times I have struggled with not having the time I want to spend with Natalie. Thursday will mark the 6 month anniversary of our return to the US and Natalie becoming a US citizen (she became my daughter on March 22)
It never ceases to amaze me how God hears the cries of our hearts, things that seem so small or insignificant yet mean so much to us. On Friday I had major surgery for a mass that my GYN doctor had been following for months. Without going into a lot of detail (this is what I was alluding to when I mentioned in another post that I was dealing with some personal issues) let me summarize it by saying that I was able to have a less invasive surgery so my recovery time will be less and that the mass turned out to be nothing major. The end result is that I am now out of work for 2-4 weeks and for at least 2 of those weeks, I cannot drive. Natalie is home with me for that time. So I now have that time to spend one on one with her, yet this is even better than when we first returned home because her language skills have improved significantly. I feel so humbled and blessed that the Lord heard my cries and even though this is not the way I would have chosen to be home, I have this great opportunity ahead of me and really want to make the most of it.
His ways are definitely not my ways. But oh how grateful I am that His ways are the best ways!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Natalie
Every day I think I should write an update and share how things are going, but then I get home and it seems like there are so many other things to take care of. I have had some issues going on in my own personal life (which I may share at a later date) and work has just been so busy.
But I titled this post Natalie so I want to bring you up to date on how she is doing. Since I last updated, she has started a new school along with a new program called More at Four. The purpose is to help children who are behind at the age of 4 to be ready to enter kindergarten by next year. Needless to say, when she was tested she scored low. A lot of that has to do with the fact that she is still learning English. I don't believe I have ever used the word knuckle with her, so I am not surprised that she did not point to her knuckle when asked. She has learned a lot of body parts in English but she still has so many more to learn. Have your ever sat down and thought of all the different body parts there are? For instance, just covering the head we have: face, head, nose, mouth, teeth, tongue, lips, chin, ears, hair, eye brows, eye lashes, cheeks, forehead, bangs, brain, skull, jaw, sinuses, the various parts of the eye, etc. You get my point. I don't think she knew her colors at the baby home, so having to learn new names and the concept is a double wamy for her. She knows the names, but can't quite match the color to an object of that specific color. But she is learning so much.
At times I feel frustrated because I am not the person teaching her so many things or being there when she experiences new food items (had tacos at school long before we had them at home.) The other day she was talking about coffee. I don't drink coffee, so I knew she had learned this at school. I do like living in the South, but at times find the syntax and use of certain words or should I say the incorrect use of words is a bit challenging for me. This week Natalie has been using the expression "get gone" which I hear all the time here. So I find it a challenge to help her to learn things the correct way or the way I feel she should be brought up. I feel like she is growing up right before my eyes and I am missing out on so much, because I have to work. On one hand I would love to cut my hours down to six a day which would allow me to be full time, but on the other hand, the adoption was not cheap and I feel the need to work a full 40 hours to pay back the loan. So it is a fine balance between spending time with her and moving towards being debt free. I have also had to work a lot of weekends due to taking time off for my mom and her appointments. With so many things going on with the economy, I am truly grateful for my job and the opportunities that are there.
Natalie has also had the opportunity to spend several days with my sister, BIL and my niece. The day care was closed and she stayed with them since my mom was not up to taking care of her at the time. She had a blast and did not want to come home. She has also spent the night at a friend's home and also did great there. Those days have given me some time to get little projects done around here.
One day we took the train to Raleigh and went to the Natural Science museum. We met up with a friend who lived in the area and ran into a family that I have know for years when I lived in Fayetteville. It was a delightful surprise. Natalie had looked forward all week to riding on the choo choo.
Her vocabulary has grown tremendously and she is maturing so fast. She loves that she is a "big girl" and wants to do so many things by herself or to help me.
Tomorrow we will go to a local festival and I am looking forward to attending this and seeing her reaction to so many things. I will post some pictures from our trip to the museum.
But I titled this post Natalie so I want to bring you up to date on how she is doing. Since I last updated, she has started a new school along with a new program called More at Four. The purpose is to help children who are behind at the age of 4 to be ready to enter kindergarten by next year. Needless to say, when she was tested she scored low. A lot of that has to do with the fact that she is still learning English. I don't believe I have ever used the word knuckle with her, so I am not surprised that she did not point to her knuckle when asked. She has learned a lot of body parts in English but she still has so many more to learn. Have your ever sat down and thought of all the different body parts there are? For instance, just covering the head we have: face, head, nose, mouth, teeth, tongue, lips, chin, ears, hair, eye brows, eye lashes, cheeks, forehead, bangs, brain, skull, jaw, sinuses, the various parts of the eye, etc. You get my point. I don't think she knew her colors at the baby home, so having to learn new names and the concept is a double wamy for her. She knows the names, but can't quite match the color to an object of that specific color. But she is learning so much.
At times I feel frustrated because I am not the person teaching her so many things or being there when she experiences new food items (had tacos at school long before we had them at home.) The other day she was talking about coffee. I don't drink coffee, so I knew she had learned this at school. I do like living in the South, but at times find the syntax and use of certain words or should I say the incorrect use of words is a bit challenging for me. This week Natalie has been using the expression "get gone" which I hear all the time here. So I find it a challenge to help her to learn things the correct way or the way I feel she should be brought up. I feel like she is growing up right before my eyes and I am missing out on so much, because I have to work. On one hand I would love to cut my hours down to six a day which would allow me to be full time, but on the other hand, the adoption was not cheap and I feel the need to work a full 40 hours to pay back the loan. So it is a fine balance between spending time with her and moving towards being debt free. I have also had to work a lot of weekends due to taking time off for my mom and her appointments. With so many things going on with the economy, I am truly grateful for my job and the opportunities that are there.
Natalie has also had the opportunity to spend several days with my sister, BIL and my niece. The day care was closed and she stayed with them since my mom was not up to taking care of her at the time. She had a blast and did not want to come home. She has also spent the night at a friend's home and also did great there. Those days have given me some time to get little projects done around here.
One day we took the train to Raleigh and went to the Natural Science museum. We met up with a friend who lived in the area and ran into a family that I have know for years when I lived in Fayetteville. It was a delightful surprise. Natalie had looked forward all week to riding on the choo choo.
Her vocabulary has grown tremendously and she is maturing so fast. She loves that she is a "big girl" and wants to do so many things by herself or to help me.
Tomorrow we will go to a local festival and I am looking forward to attending this and seeing her reaction to so many things. I will post some pictures from our trip to the museum.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Life in the Fast Lane
Every day I think, I really need to update my blog and every day I think maybe tomorrow. So much has gone on with my mother. I have to really think hard, but if my memory serves me well, she has had 7 follow up doctor visits, 4 chest X-rays, 2 blood draws, 2 procedures to draw fluid off of her lungs, home visits with a nurse, nurse's aid and physical therapy and multiple medication changes. And all of this has happened in the last 6 weeks. I am very happy to report (since last week alone was 3 of the doctor visits, 1 blood draw and 1 x-ray) that she is done with all medical visits for the next month. Physically she is also doing great and back to driving. I can tell she is feeling better every day and probably just a little better than she did prior to her surgery. Thank you all for praying for her and all of your support during this time.
Tomorrow I will give you an update on Natalie.
Tomorrow I will give you an update on Natalie.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Pictures
Natalie is growing in so many ways. She initially tried this dress on shortly after she came home. It was a gift and I wanted to send a thank you note with her wearing the dress. It was too big at that time. She wore it this past Sunday to church. What a difference in just 4 months.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Medals and Heroes
Believe it or not, I have managed to catch a little of the Olympics and just like everyone else, I have been cheering for Michael Phelps to win his 8 gold medals. Congratulations to him!! Michael and the other team members who have won the medals make it look so easy. But I know that there were great sacrifices by each team member and his/her family members, not to mention the hours and hours of training. It is easy to focus in on those who have the media attention and who accomplish great goals. But what about all those other athlete who have made the Olympic teams for their country only to be eliminated in all the competitions before the medal events? Their sacrifices and hours of training are just important.
I share all of that as an introduction to recognizing the heroes and medal winners in my life these last several weeks. All of the following deserve the gold medal for their actions, sacrifices and time spent in helping my mom on the road to recovery.
First my sister Diana. She took the week off from work while my mother was in the hospital. She spent every day there. As a nurse at that hospital (and the fact that her husband is a nurse on the floor my mom was on) she had insight into the care, medical needs and personnel involved in my mom's recovery. She made sure she was getting the care she needed both physically and medically. Her pastor was also very kind in being there the day of surgery, during the 10 days my mom was there and following up with a home visit. Diana also made sure that every thing was in place for her discharge home and home health services.
Next as my sister Susan who also took time off from work and drove over 4 hours after work to be available to pick up my mom on the day of discharge. Unfortunately she didn't get discharged until a day later, but Susan spent that day with her. She also helped me move furniture and get my mom's place ready for her to arrive home. Her daughter Heather also came with her. Heather played with Natalie and was a huge help. Susan picked my mom up from the hospital, dropped off her new prescriptions and laid the foundation for the schedule for her medications, blood pressure, weight and temperature checks and overall schedule for my mom to begin her recovery. She also was there for the beginning of the home health services. Spent 5 days away from her husband and home.
My brother Ron arrived from Alaska the day before Susan went home. He spent 11 days away from his wife and 2 daughters to be with my mom. He was the task master as he diligently had her follow the schedule, take her daily walks, perform her exercises, keep her feet elevated. He did laundry, cooked meals, did dishes, cleaned the cat box, made her bed and changed her sheets. He also fixed my toilet, my mom's blinds, Natalie's pool and made Natalie a peg board to practice some fine motor exercises. He also read my mom's manual from the hospital and followed all of their recommendations as well as took her to an appointment at the hospital. He was faithful to weigh her every day, make sure she took her medications and record her temperature as well as interact with the home health personnel. He also spent time playing with Natalie who just loved her Uncle Ronk.
My sister Kathy arrived several days before my brother arrived. She gets only 2 weeks of vacation a year and used one week to come and care for my mother. She took my mom to her doctor's appointment, for blood work and a chest x-ray. After the initial doctor's appointment my mom had to return to the hospital on Friday (the 15th) for a procedure to have excess fluid removed. Kathy took her there and stayed with her throughout the procedure. She also cooked and cared for my mom. Probably one of the highlights for my mom was the day Kathy did an in depth housecleaning as well as all the laundry. Kathy also spent time away from her husband and daughter. She left for home yesterday.
The next gold winner is Natalie. She endured 9 straight days at the hospital visiting my mom. That often meant very long days for her and little time to play once we got home from the hospital. Up at 6:00 AM to return home by 7-7:30 to eat and head to bed. A lot of my time when I was home from work was spent also assisting my siblings with my mom. So Natalie lost some mommy time. Every night she would pray for Bashka to get better. She also developed a sinus infection and cough during this time, but was such a trooper. Last night we went for a walk with Bashka. My mom walked the furthest she has since returning home. Her legs have been so swollen and her breathing labored due to fluid in the lung (which was removed on Friday) She has had difficult putting on shoes to walk and last night we were able to fasten one shoe completely and the other shoe on the first hole. Once we returned from the walk, my mom sat down. Natalie (without a word from me) immediately walked over to my mom, took off my mom's shoes and placed my mom's slippers on her feet. Today after church Natalie was given some candy. She had 3 packs of Smarties. She gave me one and said one was for Bashka. She really is such a loving and giving child and at times I am humbled by her heart and desire to look out for others first.
Lastly my mom gets a gold medal for pressing on through all the 3 steps forward and 2 steps back journey of her recovery. She is making progress. Today while Natalie and I went to church, she followed her schedule (first day on her own) and got her walk in before we got home. Even though she is not one to show a lot of emotion or to express her feelings, I know she is grateful for all her children, their sacrifices and their labor of love in caring for her during this time.
For all of you who have prayed, called or sent cards or emails, thank you so much for caring and being there during this time. Mostly I want to express my gratitude to the Lord for being with my mom and the doctors during the surgery and for giving the doctors wisdom during her recovery time. I know He will continue to sustain my mom and help her in the healing process.
To my brother and sisters I want to publicly thank you and acknowledge your sacrifices and labor of love in caring for mom. You are all gold medal winners in my eyes!!
I share all of that as an introduction to recognizing the heroes and medal winners in my life these last several weeks. All of the following deserve the gold medal for their actions, sacrifices and time spent in helping my mom on the road to recovery.
First my sister Diana. She took the week off from work while my mother was in the hospital. She spent every day there. As a nurse at that hospital (and the fact that her husband is a nurse on the floor my mom was on) she had insight into the care, medical needs and personnel involved in my mom's recovery. She made sure she was getting the care she needed both physically and medically. Her pastor was also very kind in being there the day of surgery, during the 10 days my mom was there and following up with a home visit. Diana also made sure that every thing was in place for her discharge home and home health services.
Next as my sister Susan who also took time off from work and drove over 4 hours after work to be available to pick up my mom on the day of discharge. Unfortunately she didn't get discharged until a day later, but Susan spent that day with her. She also helped me move furniture and get my mom's place ready for her to arrive home. Her daughter Heather also came with her. Heather played with Natalie and was a huge help. Susan picked my mom up from the hospital, dropped off her new prescriptions and laid the foundation for the schedule for her medications, blood pressure, weight and temperature checks and overall schedule for my mom to begin her recovery. She also was there for the beginning of the home health services. Spent 5 days away from her husband and home.
My brother Ron arrived from Alaska the day before Susan went home. He spent 11 days away from his wife and 2 daughters to be with my mom. He was the task master as he diligently had her follow the schedule, take her daily walks, perform her exercises, keep her feet elevated. He did laundry, cooked meals, did dishes, cleaned the cat box, made her bed and changed her sheets. He also fixed my toilet, my mom's blinds, Natalie's pool and made Natalie a peg board to practice some fine motor exercises. He also read my mom's manual from the hospital and followed all of their recommendations as well as took her to an appointment at the hospital. He was faithful to weigh her every day, make sure she took her medications and record her temperature as well as interact with the home health personnel. He also spent time playing with Natalie who just loved her Uncle Ronk.
My sister Kathy arrived several days before my brother arrived. She gets only 2 weeks of vacation a year and used one week to come and care for my mother. She took my mom to her doctor's appointment, for blood work and a chest x-ray. After the initial doctor's appointment my mom had to return to the hospital on Friday (the 15th) for a procedure to have excess fluid removed. Kathy took her there and stayed with her throughout the procedure. She also cooked and cared for my mom. Probably one of the highlights for my mom was the day Kathy did an in depth housecleaning as well as all the laundry. Kathy also spent time away from her husband and daughter. She left for home yesterday.
The next gold winner is Natalie. She endured 9 straight days at the hospital visiting my mom. That often meant very long days for her and little time to play once we got home from the hospital. Up at 6:00 AM to return home by 7-7:30 to eat and head to bed. A lot of my time when I was home from work was spent also assisting my siblings with my mom. So Natalie lost some mommy time. Every night she would pray for Bashka to get better. She also developed a sinus infection and cough during this time, but was such a trooper. Last night we went for a walk with Bashka. My mom walked the furthest she has since returning home. Her legs have been so swollen and her breathing labored due to fluid in the lung (which was removed on Friday) She has had difficult putting on shoes to walk and last night we were able to fasten one shoe completely and the other shoe on the first hole. Once we returned from the walk, my mom sat down. Natalie (without a word from me) immediately walked over to my mom, took off my mom's shoes and placed my mom's slippers on her feet. Today after church Natalie was given some candy. She had 3 packs of Smarties. She gave me one and said one was for Bashka. She really is such a loving and giving child and at times I am humbled by her heart and desire to look out for others first.
Lastly my mom gets a gold medal for pressing on through all the 3 steps forward and 2 steps back journey of her recovery. She is making progress. Today while Natalie and I went to church, she followed her schedule (first day on her own) and got her walk in before we got home. Even though she is not one to show a lot of emotion or to express her feelings, I know she is grateful for all her children, their sacrifices and their labor of love in caring for her during this time.
For all of you who have prayed, called or sent cards or emails, thank you so much for caring and being there during this time. Mostly I want to express my gratitude to the Lord for being with my mom and the doctors during the surgery and for giving the doctors wisdom during her recovery time. I know He will continue to sustain my mom and help her in the healing process.
To my brother and sisters I want to publicly thank you and acknowledge your sacrifices and labor of love in caring for mom. You are all gold medal winners in my eyes!!
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